Yesterday was Sven's dad's 80th birthday party. It was an excellent bash, although the weather was entirely too hot to be anywhere in fancy clothes, and sitting inside to eat was a bit of an ordeal. The long table cloth felt like a duvet over our legs, and although windows and doors were open, there was hardly a breeze. Still, a good time was had by all, and Sven's dad was happy. He danced with all the ladies, which is pretty well done for an 80 year old guy with a hip replacement and two new knees.
At one point, my favorite sister-in-law told me as gently as she could that one of Sven's sisters had found out she was pregnant recently and had decided to abort the baby. Which I completely understand. She has four kids already from previous relationships, and her husband has four kids from his previous marriage. That's eight kids between them, the youngest of which is like, 7 or 8 years old. Their financial situation isn't looking so great, with both of them not working and on social welfare. They're both closer to fifty than forty in age. As far as I'm concerned, it was the right decision.
However, what irked me was that I was told that Sven's sister was afraid to tell me, on account of me apparently being barren or whatever. Like I'm some sort of delicate flower that wilts at the slightest breeze, and judges everyone's personal choices based on my own situation. Like keeping this a secret is probably the best for 'poor' Tink's state of mind.
I really, really hate to think that people are walking around on egg shells over a perceived 'hot button' issue that isn't particularly hot, and hardly a button at all, as far as I'm concerned. Seems to me the people most upset about my lack of procreation are Sven's family, not Sven nor myself.
And when I told my sister in law this, or rather, tried to, she interrupted me halfway through to say "I shouldn't have said anything!" with big eyes. Yes, thanks for missing the point on that.
I will not be pitied. There is no reason to pity me. Having kids is a privilege, not a right. And I am not 'less than' for not having any.
At one point, my favorite sister-in-law told me as gently as she could that one of Sven's sisters had found out she was pregnant recently and had decided to abort the baby. Which I completely understand. She has four kids already from previous relationships, and her husband has four kids from his previous marriage. That's eight kids between them, the youngest of which is like, 7 or 8 years old. Their financial situation isn't looking so great, with both of them not working and on social welfare. They're both closer to fifty than forty in age. As far as I'm concerned, it was the right decision.
However, what irked me was that I was told that Sven's sister was afraid to tell me, on account of me apparently being barren or whatever. Like I'm some sort of delicate flower that wilts at the slightest breeze, and judges everyone's personal choices based on my own situation. Like keeping this a secret is probably the best for 'poor' Tink's state of mind.
I really, really hate to think that people are walking around on egg shells over a perceived 'hot button' issue that isn't particularly hot, and hardly a button at all, as far as I'm concerned. Seems to me the people most upset about my lack of procreation are Sven's family, not Sven nor myself.
And when I told my sister in law this, or rather, tried to, she interrupted me halfway through to say "I shouldn't have said anything!" with big eyes. Yes, thanks for missing the point on that.
I will not be pitied. There is no reason to pity me. Having kids is a privilege, not a right. And I am not 'less than' for not having any.